Kate Hagen

Oct 22, 2021

2 min read

Do you worry about who your kids will become?

Do you worry about who your kids will become?

Of course, you do! If you have kids and a pulse, you get nervous about their future job, partner, financial situation, friends, etc., etc,. etc. (How many etc. can I put here?)

So, let’s just start with normalizing this. We’re all worried about our kid’s futures. And, honestly, for good reason.

The “good reason” to be concerned is NOT because the world is so polarized, the economy so unstable, and college so expensive (etc., etc., etc.). But feel free to agree with all these things.

The reason to worry is that we have NO CONTROL over their futures. We are guaranteed nothing. No matter how much we plan, lecture, or protect, we do not know what the future will hold. That’s something to be scared of.

Is it weird that this actually calms me?

There is no formula that, if I just follow it, will produce perfectly adjusted kids. And, let me tell you, if I find one, it will only “work” for one of my kids (maybe).

Let’s talk about those parents (ahem…pointing at myself) who had strong opinions about how to raise kids. They made extreme choices that were counter-cultural and sacrificial. They were thoughtful parents!

So, when THAT parent has a kid who struggles…did they do it wrong? Did they not say enough? Did they say too much?

Or maybe, there is no formula and no guarantee. Maybe the Spirit works in divine timing and unpredictable patterns. Maybe we don’t have control.

If I have no control over my children’s futures, and nothing is guaranteed, then why the HECK am I worrying about it? All that is doing is making today less enjoyable.

Who will our kids become? We can’t know that today.

Will they be safe, healthy, happy, financially stable as adults? Only God knows. Literally.

Have we done enough? Probably not.

Does it help to worry? Never.

So, now what? Will I still worry about who my kids will become? Most likely, because I do have a pulse. Is that worry from God? No. Is my guilt over past choices from God? No. How do I know this? Because God is a good father who is full of mercy and forgiveness, slow to anger, and abounding in loving kindness. The voice of the Spirit will inspire me to love better, not feel shameful.

Do not worry about tomorrow. -Jesus

Is it weird that this actually calms me?